What is this human behavior called, and at what age do children learn it?

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What is the behavior called when one person is able to recognize controversial behavior in others but is blind to seeing the same (or worse) disruptive behavior in himself (or his friends?)

And at what age do children learn this? When do they recognize that they are exhibiting same or worse behavior as their 'enemies' and thus if their 'enemy' is subject to punishment, he is also subject to the same punishment?
that the child only learns when exposed to it. How sheltered is the child? You have to teach it. We are all born wild. Empathy, compassion, loyalty, respect, manners ........ have to be instilled.

I believe starts when they have play groups. Invariable one of the participants will be a difficult child, without too much discipline and you will tell your child you do not approve of that behavior. If your child does the same, he/she should be removed from the situation and told that it is not acceptable.

I feel bad for the child (that everybody hates) because ultimately is the parent's fault for not guiding him/her. If they are in school or day care center the teachers have to control it. You have to have a handle at home.

As you teach your child the most important thing in life, in my opinion, how to chose your friends he/she will assimilate the behavior that you do approve of.

Back in the days..... My son was 14 years old and my daughter 12. We had transformed our basement into a teen center where all their friends were welcomed as well as their parents as long as hubby and I were at home. The place was closed if no adults were present. My naive daughter had a friend way older in behavior and I caught this girl sitting on the boys laps and being all flirty. My daughter was devastated when I told her I did not want that girl invited back (being kind with the excuses). You have to be firm and give the message of your expectations to your child.

I had no problem saying: I don't want this one or that one in OUR house ever again! Slowly they started selecting and bringing home kids that fit into the group very well. I must say that now in their 30's we love all their friends and the teenage years were very calm because their friends had similar upbringing. Be kind and loyal to your friends and respect everybody. Simply as that!

One advice that worked very well for me was NEVER allow your child to argue when you give him/her a direction. Unconditional aceptance translating a total trust in the parent.

It has been recommended that if your child behaves in a manner that is not appropriate to take away something important that he/she has to work very hard to get it back. Be firm and inflexible. If you give in they'll never respect you. Being a parent and preparing that little kid that you adore to be a well liked member of society it's a big job.

I was very lucky in my life to have a neighbor friend in her late 60's that was my mentor. She stepped in when my Mom died. She would guide me when I was not sure, she would tell me off when I was wrong. It was great to have someone that had successfully raised 5 children not only guide me but also approve of my decisions. She was the grandmother the kids did not have. I'm forever greatful.

When in doubt ask someone you respect.  (+ info)

What to expect at Behavior therapist office? How long would it take to see improvement?

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My young child has symptoms of selective mutism(extreme shyness) for which she is going to start behavioral sessions.What do they do at behavior sessions? Do they talk to her directly or advice parents how to change around her? I honestly have no idea. If i know what to expect, it would be really helpful? On average, how long do shyness behavior improve with behavioral sessions.
Hi there. Both of my girls see a therapist (one for ODD and the other for her diabetes issues) who deals in a lot of areas. She does a play therapy setting, where they play games, and she talks to them at the same time. She also spends time during the sessions to check in with my husband and myself to catch up, and address how things are progressing, along with coping skills for both of us.

While I am not not experienced in selective mutism, I would think that you should give the therapy about 6-8 weeks before you expect any sort of improvement. It may be sooner or later, but by that time you will have had some consistency with routine or behavior changes to take effect to know if things are working with that particular therapist.

Good luck, and it's great that you are taking the steps to help you little one! Hope this helps!  (+ info)

Can children start having behavior problems because of aenoids are bothering him?

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My son has had breathing and snuffy nose issue for awhile. He has allergy problems from time to time and his eye are dry at times. He is also having behavior problems also. He doesn't sleep well because he snores all the time. He is having his aenoids taking out, i want to know well he be a change person?
well i got my adenoids out and i used to have the same problem but now i am just fine now that i got my adenoids taken out! it really helps! A LOT!!
your son will be Okay i promise! well it depends on the person actually it cured me though :O)!!  (+ info)

What can cause uncharacteristicly aggressive behavior of a 6 y/o boy at school?

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My son, who is currently 6, has had behavior issues at school ever since he started Kindergarten last year. He has been hitting and throwing rocks - which is very unusual. His bad behavior is mainly at school, as he is very affectionate and eager to please at home. Last year, he had problems wetting himself because he was afraid to use the bathroom at school. That has improved this year, but the hitting has gotten worse. What I don't understand is that he's hitting a boy who he admits doesn't do anything mean to him, and who he does not dislike. He won't give me reasons for doing what he does, but I suspect his behavior is in response to some sort of stress he's experiencing by being in the school environment. He loses his recess every day and his teacher writes notes home every night asking me to solve the problem - which is hard to do since it's not a problem when he's at home. He's VERY bright and eager to learn and I worry he'll lose that and come to hate school. Any suggestions?
I think it is time to get some sort of intervention. Try a family counselor. Since at home he seems fine it is hard for you to pinpoint the problem. See if the school can recommend someone to you.  (+ info)

Is it ok to use a behavior chart with children of relatives whom I babysit once per week?

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I'd like to find something in order to make my day easier when looking after the children, and I think a behavior chart might be helpful. Is this ok to use one as a babysitter, or is it stepping too much into the parents' boundaries?
I currently try the "having fun" approach. However, I have a six month old, so it isn't always possible to entertain 3 children under the age of 7 for an entire day. Plus, things in my house are getting broken, and I'm being disrespected, despite trying to just "have fun."
Of course! You're in charge; you make the rules. A behavior chart is a great first step. As a teacher, I have learned that the keys to effective discipline are clear expectations, consistency, and follow-through. I suggest that you inform parents of what you're doing and why you're doing it. Good luck!  (+ info)

How do I go about creating a behavior chart for my toddler?

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I want to create a behavior chart for my son to put stickers on for when he's good. To encourage him to do good so how do I need to go about it, I have the poster board and markers and everything. I just don't know where to begin. The problems I have been having lately are screaming and hitting.
You could make a monthly calendar. Make sure the squares are big enough for multiple stickers. Put in on a wall/fridge at his hi eye level. Tell him that when he gets ___ stickers, he can get a _________.

Make sure he knows exactly what he needs to do for a sticker, things like:
-Solving problems with his words.
-Helping you around the house.
-Doing as he is told.
Anything else you want to encourage  (+ info)

What are the best ways to discipline behavior of a toddler?

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My 15 month old played around a huge gathering of children today at a play land type place. She soaked up information from screaming randomly at a restaurant (which she had never done before, and what do we do now?) to abruptly slamming herself on her bottom in the middle of the living room. HELP explain and offer suggestions for behavior modification of my little girl!
She's pushing the envelope. You did it as a kid as well. :) Just be consistent. Show her love - EVERY TIME. Let her know, "Mommy does not like that! You will now sit without your toys for 5 minutes". Or whatever seems to work. Then do it EVERY TIME. It's called logical consequences.  (+ info)

What is an appropriate reward for good behavior for a 5 year old boy?

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My little boy has been doing so well in school lately and this has been a huge improvement from just a month ago. He has a daily behavior log from the teacher and has had no "sad face" days in over 3 weeks now. We praise him verbally daily and I've taken him to the park and McDonald's, but I'd like to do a little bit more this weekend.

Any ideas?
These are GREAT ideas. Thanks to all of you.
Why not ask your son? I only have daughters, so I'm not sure what to reward a boy with. My daughter gets Bella Sara trading cards every day that she comes home with perfect papers.....it gives her an incentive to try her best.

I would ask him what he would like. Just let him know that you think he's been doing an awesome job and would like to reward him, but you thought this time you would let him pick his own reward. It makes them feel important when you show you trust them enough to make their own decisions. Make sure to tell him to keep it within reason though!

Good luck!  (+ info)

How long does it take for a Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Depression to take a minimum effect?

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I am currently doing a thesis about the use of CBT to post-myocardial infarct patients who are experiencing depression (at least 60% percent experience depression after myocardial infarction and 15-22% of them experience Major Depression).

What I would like is to incorporate a Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Comprehensive Cardiac Rehabilitation Program which will lasts for 2 months.

Any ideas? Opinions are welcome.
If CBT is started during the hospital stay itself, many of them may not go into depression at all.  (+ info)

What are the benefits of using rewards as a form of behavior modification?

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Early behavioral psychologists demonstrated it is easier to modify behavior when the expected behavior is rewarded. For example, you compliment your child for doing well in school, or you get coupons for your next purchase because you spent so much at the grocery store. What are the benefits of using rewards as a form of behavior modification? Also what are some negative affects that can occur if the wrong behaviors are rewarded?
The area of concern is the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards are things like chocolate, stickers, extra pocketmoney etc. Intrinsic rewards are things like increased self-esteem, a sense of self-reliance, pride, things like that - intangible things that make up a person's character.
It is important to also encourage kids to want to do things because they feel good about themselves afterwards, not just because they are bribed or rewarded for doing them. Part of being an adult - a large part - is learning to do things we don't want to do, in order to be able to have things that we do want to have. But we also have to learn that sometimes there is no financial payoff for being a good person.
So long as you emphasise intrinsic rewards as well, and don't rely entirely upon extrinsic rewards, it's fine. Good luck!  (+ info)

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