How to talk to another mom about her child's behavior?

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I got so many great reponses to my earlier question about a friend's child who is bullying my 4 yr old daughter in preschool. Almost everyone suggested that I talk to the friend (bully's mom) about it. How do I do that? What do I say? I've never been in this type of situation before, and I'm trying to think of what my reaction would be if the shoe were on the other foot, but I'm having a hard time being objective. Advice?
Most parents will never want to admit to you, let alone themselves, that there is anything wrong with their child that they or you should be concerned about.

Most parents think their children are "perfect angels", and while they are out shopping , and not staying home with their children and raising them properly, they think their children can do no harm. It's quite the contrary, isn't it?

I am single, never been married, no kids. Every day that I am out and about someone's child annoys me.
I have been known to go right up to that parent and say something. Because I can. Because I am a shopper, not an employee or manager of a store and afraid to offend a parent. And because they have it coming to them!

I think the best way is the direct way.
Perhaps in your case, you could present it in such a way that you are making a suggestion on how to remedy the situation, rather than criticize the parent. Your situation may be different if you have a lot of contact with these parents.

Just don't allow your children to play with their children. You don't want their bad behavior to rub off on your child as acceptable. Maybe they'll get the message in that way.  (+ info)

My 5 yr old has multiple behavioral disorders I need a good diet regimen and behavior plan for him.?

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He has ADHD, Onset Childhood Bi-polar disorder, Oppostional Defiance Disorder. We have been on several medicines without much success. We are considering trying it with natural remedies, diet, behavior plan and therapy. We are getting very desperate and could use some advice.
Sounds like you have your hands full. Maybe before you try the diet remedies plan you should get a second opinion from a different neurologist. My son was diagnosed with ADD and it took a few different dosages before he was at a level of significant changes. He takes Focalin XR 10mg in the am and 5mg in the pm daily. Low dose but it helps him. Good luck  (+ info)

How do you compensate for "middle-child bad behavior"?

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My four year old is the middle child and the older he gets, the "worse" he gets in teasing his younger sister AND not listening. Do I "baby" him more? He gets an equal amount of attention as the other two but just "won't give it up".
I have never had that problem before. Is it just his temperment? Perhaps try to praise the injured one for a while.

Oh "baby name here" I see that he hit you and your head is hurt, but you are handling it very well, lets gets you an ice pack...

Oh "baby name here" I think he didn't mean to grab that and he was trying to share with you... Lets find some other toy.

After a while he will not like that the other one is getting all the positive praise and he is not getting any attention (because negative attention is still attention) and will start to act better. When he does praise him for being good. :)

it's worth a shot.  (+ info)

What should I do when my child goes limp? - resistant behavior?

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To resist compliance with tasks, especially requiring movement, my child will go limp and lay down on the floor. I have seen this in a lot of children, and no other parents or teachers have been able to advise me of an effective solution to a child going limp and lying on the floor.
my daughter does this to
i just pick her up and tell her to get up and do what she's told or i'll spank her butt then i actually do it if she doesnt listen  (+ info)

WHat is a nicer way to write that a child needs to mind their business on a behavior chart?

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Like instead of saying the child will not hit or push and shove others i said the child will use nice hands and feet. I don;t want to say the child needs to mind his/her businesss. I need a morepositive way to say that> Help
the child will not be distracted from work by others; the child will stay focused on what he needs to do  (+ info)

How do you correct your child's behavior and why that method?

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I am not a parent and have no intentions of becoming one for a looong time. (I'm a teen.) But I have a question for parents--how do you correct your child's behavior and why that method?
As a child, I was spanked for misbehaving. I still don't understand why my parents chose to do that. All that resulted was negative feelings toward my parent who spanked me and more tears and fustration. Shouting at me was their other method of 'teaching' me not to misbehave--it just fueled more negativity for the situation instead. I watched all my cousins grow up and be disciplined, shouting and spanking never got through to them either. It was all about calming them down and talking.
I guess what I'm really saying is that spanking doesn't get through to majority of kids. I noticed that my friends who grew up without spanking are much closer to their parents. So I must ask--why do parents still spank? What do parents do instead nowadays? If you were spanked as a child, did it change how you acted?
I've pretty much kid-sat my cousins at all the birthday parties since I was 10. I've noticed that standing up or sitting down and telling them sternly to stop is amazingly effective. They have treated me terribly and the most violent thing I've had to do was grab an arm and make the kid sit next to me or stand in front of me. After a warning about hurting each other and that they could get in deep trouble, everything went back to smooth sailing until another petty argument. I realize that there's a difference between being a cousin and a mother--but discipline is discipline and kids rarely need a lot of it.
I was spanked as a kid, and it never really did much other than make me fear my parents and feel belittled. Since I didn't want that for my son, I learned a better way. When he did something I wasn't happy with, I TOLD him, "I don't like it when you do that" or "It makes me really angry when you do that" or "It really scares me when you do that!" If he continued to do what he was doing, then he got privileges taken away (and that DOESN'T mean sitting in a room full of toys and computers and video games). I learned to make sure the message was about how I was feeling, and why I felt that way, and not about him being a "bad" person in any way. I tried to distinguish between the thing he was doing, and HIM. The only time I did anything remotely like spanking him was when he was too tiny to understand words, and a single spat on the leg to warn him away from something dangerous was usually all it took.

Today, he is 26 years old, a pretty well-adjusted guy who is a successful mechanical engineer. He is great with kids, so I think maybe I did SOMETHING right :-)  (+ info)

What impact does Depression, bipolar disorders and mental illness have on crime and criminal behavior?

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This is a question that I have in reference to my criminology class. I am stuck on this one.
I personally believe that the individual mentally ill person's internal compass still functions except when they totally lose touch with reality.

Even though we have a mental illness does not mean we no longer know what is right from wrong. It does not mean that we have lost the ability to understand what impact our actions could have on others...

The problem with a mental illness that is not being actively controlled/managed is that the person CAN have a much lower impulse control. I think that is where the problems happen and create situations where spontaneous criminal activity occur.

But our mental illness is not an excuse for our behavior unless we have totally lost sight of reality and right and wrong.

We are still responsible for our actions.

I think for the most part, mental illness sufferers are way to occupied dealing with their own personal form of hell than to embark on life of crime. We might have "bad" days and as a result draw the attention of law enforcement but I'd say there are more normies that process through jail on any given day...  (+ info)

When does pulling your child's hair become irresponsible parental behavior?

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I'm in a little quandry here. It's common sense that pulling a child's hair is an effective behavioral modification technique. However, when does hairpulling cross over from effective parenting to overstepping parental boundaries? In Tehran, it is written under Islamic law that hair pulling is acceptable as long as there are no more than 3 bald spots as a result of previous hairpulling. However, I checked the books on this, and it appears that elsewhere, up to 5 bald spots are acceptable. When does it become too much? Thank you in advance for your help.

Ahmed
Wow. I didn't know this was acceptable under any conditions. I feel sorry for your kids.

Maybe you should try asking this in the religion section - you might get more answers there, everyone here will find this abusive and offensive.  (+ info)

Is good behavior usually the way parents decide who is their favorite child?

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I have no kids nor do I want any. I would just love to be fly on the wall when parents decide why they'll favorite a certain\ kid.
GOD no.

My mother's favorite has ever and always been one of my brothers.
He's a con man, and has avoided prison only by a miracle.
He cons, thieves, he's written bad checks, betrayed his pregnant wife, left her for another woman he convinced to become his "fiance:, then left HER two months before the wedding. He's stolen from my family, to the extend where we HIDE purses, wallets, checkbooks, and all valuables when he visits...so no, good behavior has nothing to do with her favoring him....  (+ info)

A simple behavior management technique for a child's aggressive behavior toward a sibling?

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I'd appreciate any ideas for an easy-to-implement behavior management strategy that will help an eight year old male reduce the frequency of his physically aggressive behavior toward two younger brothers. Thank you! If you have a web site reference, thank you doubly. Or triply.
Try to encourage him to feel empathy for his siblings. Instead of focusing on the 'wrong' he did in hitting (or kicking biting...whatever), focus on the hurt he caused someone he loves. Say to him, "Oh, now look. You made your brother cry. Go talk to him and see if you can make him feel better". Don't show any anger or irritation about it, just the sadness about the other child hurting. At first, he may not even care, but he should start to care about his siblings' feelings soon. If he consistently doesn't care, I would begin to wonder if there are underlying issues involved.  (+ info)

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